My toe’s been cut off, can I get some attention up in here?

(from Year of the Thief)

I inform the clerk through a vent in the glass that a pack of thugs invaded my home, drugged me with an unknown substance, cut off my right pinky toe and left me to bleed out and perish.

There’s a mysterious maybe-twist at the end, but what I really dug about this very short story was the tone set up by that first line. It’s a twisted, gross, funny, sad world our narrator lives in. The miserable waiting room at the E.R. is perfect, right down to the kids who go there to stay warm.
Edited by Matt Digangi, Year of the Thief is a compilation of gems plucked from the Thieves’ Jargon web site, which publishes some daring stuff. This sharp little pocket-sized book is separated into four tarotic sections: The Thief (where Henion’s story resides), The Magician, The Fool and The Hangman. Here‘s where you can buy it if you want.

Tonight, the Carolina Hurricanes won the Stanley Cup.

The Promise Ring, “Emergency! Emergency!”